


Forgiven

by vehlr



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: F/M, Multi, Post Game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-07
Updated: 2012-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 05:55:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehlr/pseuds/vehlr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke and her kin are lost to the pages of history, a tale only known to the trusted few. It is not an easy story - despair, loss and blood litter her every step - but it might just be one worthy of the Canticle of Trials if she can hold on to her faith.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiven

The second explosion that rocked Kirkwall died down with no more than a whimper, leaving a disfigured statue in its wake. Knight-Commander Meredith - or what was left of her - would trouble no-one else in this life. Templars and mages scattered, and in the courtyard of the Gallows only two figureheads remained with their most trusted companions. The Champion and the Knight-Captain stood face to face in the aftermath of a crushing blow for all sides.

Hawke could feel the weight of the world bear down on her in silent stares and wide eyed recriminations. The eyes of the templars bore straight through her, and the heat at her back was surely the desperate gazes of her companions, preventing her from stepping back. Together, they pinned her to the spot as the last leader of the templars advanced towards her, stopping barely a pace in front of her when he finally spoke.

“Are you alright?” Cullen did not sheathe his sword, did not loosen his grip on his shield. That much she would remember in the days to come. His voice was hoarse from the day's events, throat strained from trying to talk his former commander down from her madness. “Hawke? Are you _alright?_ ”

She nodded mutely, unable to speak. Her eyes drifted towards the corpse of what was once Knight-Commander Meredith as a templar rushed forward to investigate. Cullen stepped back a touch, grabbing her attention again with the sharp release of air that accompanied it.

“I am sorry, Hawke. A war has started here today, the consequences of which I think will be felt throughout the lands for a long time. But I must attend to my charges in this city. I must protect them. And you... you know what I must do.”

“I'm sorry,” she whispered finally, the ghost of a smile on her worn face as she finally shouldered her blade. Someone had to put a stop to all this violence, after all. “For everything. If I'd known what Ande- _he_ would do...” She almost choked on the name.

“I know.” He shook his head. “Do not carry his guilt on your own shoulders. We should have been more vigilant. All of us.” He glanced over her shoulder at her group, eyeing them up with something akin to pity. “Stay strong. I can give you twenty minutes. Then we will come for you.” He took a deep breath, offering a jerked nod before uttering one last piece of advice to her. “Run, Hawke.” Turning to his ragtag unit, he summoned them wordlessly into the building for healing.

*

The silence held for a long moment as she collected herself. This was just the beginning of the end, and she needed to pull together all her reserves for this first step. There were people waiting for her - waiting _on_ her, on her judgements and decisions, and she needed to act now. With a sharp intake of breath, her shoulders rose again, back straightening as she turned to Aveline and Donnic first, hands up to stop the flow of burning questions from the other woman.

“I'm sorry. Really, I am. But you can't follow me down this path anymore, Captain. This is where we part ways.”

The look of utter surprise on her friends face was almost worth it. “What? Hawke, I'm with you. As far as we can run, I'll be with you until the end. Like always.”

“No, Aveline. You won't.” She looked to Donnic, and she saw his torn resolve. She would not tear another family apart. “Take care of them. All of them. Your people need you, and... and besides,” she added, forcing a smile, “the templars can't run the place, so why not _you?_ ”

“Hawke!”

“Aveline!” She mirrored the red-head’s impatient tone. That ever-present weariness that had taken residence in her limbs since the fall of the Chantry – Maker, had it only been a few hours ago now? - weighed heavily on her. “You are the _captain of the guard_. Do what you have to do.” Hawke impulsively ducked her head to press a soft kiss to Aveline’s cheek, an aching hand reaching to gently pat Donnic's shoulder, before she pulled away from the pair altogether. “Sound the alarm. Fifteen minutes.” She winked. “Beat the templars to the house, eh, old girl?” And without another word, she turned her back, gesturing to the others to keep pace with her as she ran through Hightown.

The captain watched as her oldest friend vanished into legend with a face as immovable as stone.  
“Blast you, Hawke,” she muttered finally, before turning to Donnic who snapped off a salute. He knew the finer differences between his captain and his wife, and this woman was the former. “Rally them. Eighteen minutes time, I want us kicking down the door to the Amell estate.” Her face was somewhere between a smile and a snarl, teeth bared. “Let’s show those templars a thing or two…”

*

“So what _exactly_ are we going to do?” panted Merril as they descended the steps down from the Gallows.

“We’re running!” Hawke said curtly, jumping the last few steps and reeling around to face them finally. “You have ten minutes to get home, pack up your most treasured things and meet me at the city gates. We're not coming back. Not _ever_. If you want to forget you ever knew me, now is the time to part ways. I won't blame you for wanting that.” She stared at them all one by one - none could meet her gaze for a long moment and the only sounds she heard over the distant roars of riots and magic were the heavy breaths of her tired friends. They had fought hard - now they had the chance to give up. “Perhaps you all have places you would rather be, places you would rather protect now that war is coming. I’ve destroyed enough to make you all think twice, and I would never blame you for wanting to move on.”

“I'm with you, Hawke,” Varric stated, patting her arm. “There’s no place I would rather be than writing the greatest story of our age.”

Fenris straightened his back, tilting his neck with a resounding crack. She had already hated that habit, but today it felt even more ominous. “Let us not waste time arguing who could be where, Hawke. You know us better than that.”

“We're all sort of orphans, really,” Merrill considered in her light tone. “No family left to go back to. Why would we go anywhere else?” The thought had never struck Hawke before, but it did in that moment – she had been there when each person had lost everything else that had mattered to them. With the exception of Aveline, who had built up her life again, they were all drifting together, clinging to each other through the storm. And now they were in the eye of it, waiting for the end. She opened her mouth to tell them all to leave, but no words come out. Instead, Varric cleared his throat.

“You heard the lady. Time is short and we have to go.” The group split, leaving their leader with her vestal companion, the only man to have stayed silent. His eyes were fixed on the plumes of smoke spiralling into the sky. She had no words left to say, but he had plenty for her.

“I wanted Elthina to be the one to marry us, you know.” He swallowed hard. “She was good to me, better than I could ever have wished for. She never judged me too harshly for following what I thought was the right path...” He finally turned from the destruction to face her. His face was drawn, but his eyes were still sharp. “I struggled for a long time with my decisions, and whether following your lead would bring me peace. Whether the Maker had sent me a test. I never thought...” The sentence hung in the air, and Hawke would wonder about the rest of the words until she died.

“Sebastian, I...” She bit her lip as he reached out to take her hand.

He cleared his throat. “If this is where the Maker wishes me to be, then I will not stray.” He smiled. “Least of all from your side.” Kissing her knuckles, the smile fell from his face as quickly as it had arrived. “Now, gather your things and I'll meet you at the gate.”

She nodded as he squeezed her hand, offering up her own brief smile before letting him go, watching for a moment as he made a break for the burning buildings. Perhaps, she thought as she headed to her own estate, there was something he could salvage from the wreckage.

*

The estate, of course, was not yet empty.

“Oh, there you are! We heard about all the trouble with the mages and templars... well, trouble is putting it mildly, I suppose. I've alrady packed up some provisions for you, my lady.” He walked with her through the house, hands wringing. “But, you see, I was wondering just _one_ thing... will you be, ah, requiring our services along your journey?” He looked pained, and she finally stopped long enough to regard him, a small smile on her face.

“Bodahn, you have done _more_ than enough for my family. I would not drag you halfway across the world when you have a chance at a life of your own.” She suddenly grinned wryly. “I mean, I'm not like that _Hero of Ferelden_ you keep mentioning. I'm not leading you and your son into danger, okay?”

The relief fell across his face swiftly. “Oh! Oh, thank you, messere! It's not that I'm ungrateful or anything, but you see, we've had a letter from Orlais!” He continued to explain the wonderful news as she crossed over to her writing desk, flicking through the letters for the important memories before pulling out fresh paper.

“Sounds like a fantastic opportunity for the both of you, I'm thrilled,” she added over her shoulder, “but in about -” she counted quickly “- seven minutes the city guard will come calling and I think it would be best for you two to wait outside for them. So that you can honestly say you have no idea where I am.” She leant down, kissing his cheek, before beckoning Sandal over with a smile as his father stammered and blushed. “And you, young man... take care of your father, alright?”

The boy beamed. “I can make it for you!”

“Exactly.” She kissed his forehead before turning back to her desk, scribbling out the end of a brief missive to Gamlen. The estate should naturally pass back to him, but with the right turn of phrase it could be given straight to his daughter – a gesture of faith, and one that he would probably approve of... eventually. Aveline would take care of the rest of her affairs.

Behind her, the door closed, signalling the finality of her choice. She was alone for the first time since before the world had fallen into darkness, and her hands stopped mid-word as she felt the weight of the new reality fall around her. _So this is it,_ she thought. _The beginning of the end._

The sound of shouting stirred her. It was distant, but they would be coming soon.

*

Leaving the estate for the very last time through the back door, she broke into a sharp run down the alley, narrowly avoiding the contingent of guards heading towards the two dwarves on the doorstep of what had become her dearest home. Pinning herself to the wall, she listened in as Aveline exchanged words with Bodahn. The captain sounded weary already, but she clearly knew the results before shouting to her men to knock down the door. _Sorry, Aveline_ , thought the Champion. _But you are far better than I at saving people, and I won't let you squander that._ With a whispered prayer, she pulled away, making for the steps.

“Captain! There she is!” _And so it begins,_ she thought with a growl, willing her legs onward. _The hunt._

Behind her, Aveline gave the order. “Guards! With me!”

Hawke slid down the bannister of the steps, the brief advantage just enough to get around the corner where her feet gained ground. Around her, her companions gathered once more, joining her in the chase one by one: Fenris and Merrill travelled light, and though Varric was alarmed by the guards over their shoulder he did not cause them to break stride, despite his heavier load. They ran together through the streets, the orphans of Kirkwall, narrowly outpacing the guards.

The last set of steps saw the bravery of Kirkwall's finest come to fruition. One man pulled out his sword and leapt forward, making to mimic Hawke's earlier actions and slide down the bannister to catch up.

“Hawke, look out!” Merrill yelled. Fenris looked back, stopping and turning to draw his own weapon. Suddenly, an arrow flew high and fast, embedding itself in the chainmail of the guard – pinning him to the bannister. In the ensuing shocked silence, Sebastian leapt down from the arches above the gates, smile almost cocky as Varric laughed loud and long.

“What, did you think I was late?”

The dwarf applauded him. “Chantry Boy, you truly know how to make an entrance.”

The mirth quickly abated as the guards came to a halt on the steps, awaiting Aveline's signal. The ragtag group assembled around the archer and turned, as one, to regard the city that had been home and hearth for all. Hawke looked up at Sebastian, the words from earlier ringing in her head. He squeezed her arm gently, his worry written all over his face. In some semblance of reassurance, she took his hand and mirrored his earlier actions, lips gentle on his knuckles.

“We should go.” Varric’s voice was rough against the silence.

Hawke tore her eyes away from Sebastian to find Aveline’s gaze. “Yes... I suppose we should.” The Captain of the Guard. They had been as family, entering the city together shoulder to shoulder, and now - as had happened in the Amell line time and time again - loss would prevail. She looked up at her oldest friend, a hand held up in farewell, before leading the small group out of the city gates and into the dusk.

Aveline watched until she could no longer make out the figures, her eyes cold as she sent her men back to the barracks. She would mourn later, after her little chat with the Knight-Captain, but there would be no need for further bloodshed. The city, bloodied and bruised, would endure.

**Author's Note:**

> This one has been a while in coming, but now that I've started let us continue together.
> 
> With thanks to my wonderful (and ever patient) beta, valiasedai.  
> Much love to my enabler and inspiration, tarysande.


End file.
